The painting knives carve mercilessly through swathes of oily creation, much as ‘Nigel’ demolishes the rich foliage of my leafy sanctuary. Quick movements, a lightening fast bound to richer, tastier delights. Leap – SPLAT! His cheeky grin and roguish good looks adorn the canvas in luscious chunks of oil paint, so thick and vivid in colour that ‘Nigel’s excitement is palpable, his voracious hunger overwhelming.

The compulsion to run your fingers though the paint’s appetising thickness and take it into your mouth in ravenous gobs full is almost irresistible. Do not underestimate the powerful need, the single-mindedness of this hopping fiend! Surrender to his charms, and he will surely lay waste to all you hold dear.