The final metamorphosis happened for me not long after the birth of my Daughter. To be straight it was only 14 days after my Daughter came into the World is when I lost it. I hadn’t slept much, backing up my Wife for any of hers and supporting our Babies needs needs as we discovered our new gift from the Universe. The new lifestyle, the pressure of parenting and everything else in between was certainly a dramatic change for me. It was just so overwhelming, like nothing I had experience before.
So much so I just gave way and opened the flood gates. I cried and cried, whaling out a tune as I grieved and vented my frustrations to the World for my past though also celebrating the excitement of my new born Daughter. Such different Worlds apart but so close. The conflict between my two Worlds continued for weeks as I wrestled with reality and my inner shame.
I was healing myself releasing the tension though at the same time as I tore chunks from myself. It seemed so cruel and ruthless for me at the time. Detaching my World from what I have known. For me I had been selfish to take pleasure in what I love to do in the Studio without interruptions. Though it had been three or four months since I had picked up a paint brush and not allowing the tension to be released, made things worse. I was certainly in a dark place alone in my Wilderness of despair and anguish.
Though like always this is exactly where I needed to be. I just didn’t know at that time. This was the right time for me to malt the dead skin, peel back those layers and expand! Detach and drop the old growth, those heavy layers that didn’t do me well.
So I throw my arms wide open open and I send forth to the Universe all that does not honour my way, my truth and the journey I walk. As now a Father who has been SHEDDING his skin, his baggage from the past I arise lovingly full heartdly into the new chapter of my life Fatherhood.