‘HE KNOWS MY NAME’
I see him on every corner; he is the splinter in my mind that whispers sweet nothings, yet sends shivers down my spine. ‘HE KNOWS MY NAME’ and has always been there with advice on life, but life as he knows it, seen through a dimly-lit filter. He sends out a barrage of false hopes and fills me to the brim with delusions. He has the control, the power to hold me at ransom for days on end, his chilling howl ripping through me like an icy wind. I feel worthless, abandoned and alone…The big delusion has begun to seem very real! Disgust and apathy are good! Count me in!
Everything I have known has become foreign, past joys only a memory when I’ve hit bottom. Darkness. That amazing job with all that money, great buyer of happiness, huh! That past lover who was only in it for the cash. Friends that said they would be there. Family who couldn’t give a shit! All relics of a fantasy world as I sit at the bottom of a dark, dark pit.
This weight is so damn heavy now and I have no idea which way is up and I don’t know how to get you the fuck out of my head. Even if I had the key to unlock these chains, I still don’t think I could push open that door to the unknown. Better to numb the agonising known, dousing it with copious amounts of alcohol and pills. How much of me is really those pills? I am not sure but the pain is more bearable this way…Wrong! I have to deal with it now or I am not going to make it out of here alive!
He has been my companion for so long. What would the world be like away from his bleakness and savage snarls? NOTHINGNESS…I don’t know.
The endless merry go round with that cheesy music playing grinds away at the soul until there is nothing left. I am raw, lost and unforgiving. Please help me. He “HE KNOWS MY NAME.”
Media Oil on Board
Size H 674mm x W 550mm x B 25mm
Solitude Art © ®